Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Heartbeat like a knock at the door

July 10, 2013.

Are you there?

This sonogram gave us the sound of the heartbeat. On the tinny computer speakers, amplified from somewhere 20,000 leagues into the womb, it came across like a steady knock at the door.

(There it is, the doctor said, matter-of-factly. As if OF COURSE there is a living creature living inside you. OF COURSE, your body has merged with another and brought some spark out of a primordial fire we all sit around.... If we had not all been so well-informed, so well-prepared, so, well, Intellectual, perhaps we might shout: THERE IT IS!!!! A heartbeat, a steady rhythm that will follow this creature even when he/she is unaware of it.... THERE IT IS... that steady pulse of life in the background.)

I found myself asking the doctor about the gap in the regular beat... the silence... She attributed it to a shift in the recording device.

Only afterwards did I realize it was my own heart stopping at the idea now that this one might not keep beating forever.

No comments:

Post a Comment